Various Jokes I liked from movies. More will be added as I remember them. SO many movies, over the course of years. But so few I remember that contain jokes one character tells another. Some include racism, some include others. I don't give a damn, no let me rephrase that...I don't give a FUCK! I'm sick of being "politically correct", in other words, holding my tongue for those who would get offended. People will get offended ANYWAYS no matter what, they always do. So I won't do it, especially since I'm in a spot where I can do what I want. MY own journal, on MY own page.

Don't like the idea of the very few racist or any sensitive jokes, don't read this any further, from here on out, it's YOUR OWN FAULT for reading. Or you can either click the "back" button or the X in the corner. The same exact time it takes for someone to comment to complain with something off the top of their head is the same amount of time it will take for someone to do either of those things I'VE suggested.





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Gran Torino:

"A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get the fuck out of here.'"

- Walt Kowalski

Spider-Man 2:

"Before we start, anybody lose a large roll of 20$ bills in a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band."

- Otto Octavius/Doctor Octopus


Watchmen:



"Heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says 'Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up.' Man bursts into tears. Says 'But, doctor...I am Pagliacci.' Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains."

- Walter Kovacs/Rorschach

"I shall go and tell the indestructible man that someone plans to murder him."

- Rorschach



Guess Who:

"What are three things a black guy can't get? A black eye, a fat lip and a job."

- Simon Green (Aston Kutcher)

Simon Green: "Why can't black people listen to country music?"
Keisha Jones: "Why?"
Simon Green: "Because every time they say "hoe-down" they think their sister got shot!"